


Amnesia

by Mapofmyhead



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Band Break Up, Muse - Freeform, a bit of angst, chris wolstenholme - Freeform, dom howard - Freeform, matt bellamy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:29:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4980907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mapofmyhead/pseuds/Mapofmyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muse have to split up and, after that, a sequence of actions and accidents will separate the three men. But for how long? Will they ever meet again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Orinally posted on Wattpad.

I leaned back in my chair and sipped my coffee, slowly chewing on the pink straw. I tilted my head back and the sun warmed my skin, my eyes squinting behind my sunglasses. Such a good feeling. Yet, I was in a bad mood. I was waiting for Matt and Chris to join me. We had to talk. I was in a bad mood that would fit in a London moody sky, however, today was the first shiny day in almost a month. Such irony.

I abandoned my coffee and turned my attention to a vanilla biscuit, slowly gnawing on it. I felt the need to keep myself busy while waiting or the anxiety would kill me. It was about the band, after all.

It wouldn't be the first time we'd talk about it, but it was high time we took the final decision; to end this. We couldn't keep it on, anymore. And it wasn't like we just needed a break. Our lives had turned out to be the most normal they'd been in ages, they were stable and easy. And we had nothing to tell the world. No more stories to write about. We'd drained out of ideas and feelings and that was it. We couldn't keep it going without new albums, only playing huge venues and gaining money like this. We needed to be active but we couldn't do so anymore. It was over and everybody could see.

I saw Matt and Chris walking up to the cafe, both silent.

"Hey." said Matt and plopped down on the chair opposite mine.

"'Morning."

"Hey." I said softly.

Matt raised his eyebrows and jerked his chin towards my coffee.

"What'd you get?"

"Straight black." He frowned.

"Downhearted much?"

I rolled my eyes and huffed.

"You expected me to be bright and bubbly?"

"Well, that's how you usually are." he shrugged

A blonde waitress all dressed in black arrived and happily jumped in front of our table.

"Good morning. May I take your order?"

"Ahh, yes." said Matt "I want a latte." he snapped the menu close and handed it to her.

"Me too." deadpanned Chris.

"Alright." she smiled "And you, sir? Do you want anything else?" she kindly asked me, eying my almost untouched beverage.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Thank you." I smiled at her as she turned to leave. I made an effort to admire her nice bum to cheer up but it didn't help as I thought it would.

"So..." said Matt and dragged out the last vowel. I looked down and my fingers started to nervously tug on a stray thread on my black jeans, I felt like somebody punched me hard in the stomach. "Ahh, c'mon!" he muttered "I thought we all agreed to this." I raised my head and squinted at him. Chris sighed.

"You think that I fancy this shit, Matt? You think that I'd really choose to split if I had another option?" I shouted at him "This band is practically my life, Matt. I agreed only because I know this goes to nowhere..."

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath in. Matt rubbed his face with his palms and then ruffled his dark hair.

"I know, Dom. I know. It's the most important thing I had all these years but I can't do this anymore. I just can't." he sighed and rubbed his eyes "I wish I could, mate. I really wish I could but I can't write music anymore. I don't know what happened but...And we won't be able to play live for ever. People get bored..." he frowned and shook his head.

"Let's end this then." Chris spoke for the first time since they came here. The waitress came and left one fancy glass in front of each of them. I looked up at her and nodded a 'thanks'. "We can't do it anymore. Fine." he took a sip from his brownish beverage, "I mean, the end of Muse doesn't have to be the end of us," he moved his hands between the three of us, looking from me to Matt for a couple of long seconds "We'll still hang out and still play music. It just won't be for the money..." he reasoned.

"It was never for the money, Chris..." I shook my head.

"You know what I mean, Dom." I nodded. I did and, even though I didn't want to, I had to admit he was right. We were friends since our teens and of course we couldn't forget. I just knew it would never be as it used to. I knew that sooner or later we would end up caring more about other things than our friendship and we would eventually forget. But this time wasn't now.

I noticed Matt was unusually quiet. He twirled his glass on the wooden table, one arm resting over the back of his chair, eyes blank.

"Matt? You okay, mate?" His head snapped to my direction, eyes wide for a short moment before he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." he sat up "Wha-What are you gonna do after..." he wiggled his hand above his head "this. After we're done with the band and all."

Chris answered rather quickly.

"I...I guess I'm gonna spend some time with the kids. With Kelly." he shrugged "Then I'm gonna get a job in a pub or something." he scratched behind his neck and looked at me and then at Matt. "You?"

"I dunno..." answered Matt first "I'll probably travel. Maybe go to Japan for some time. Admire the trees and all, y'know...I don't have much to hold me back here so why not?" I have to admit his last comment stung a little. I didn't expect that. I thought he'd stay here, hang out with me while our married mate would spend time with family. We've been inseparable for so many years that I didn't know what I'd do all by myself. For one moment I considered of suggesting to go with him, but then I gave it a second thought. I wasn't a good enough reason for him to stay so why pressure him with my presence? "What are you gonna do, Dom?"

"I...I dunno...I really dunno..." I shrugged one shoulder.

"You dunno?"

"I'll think of something...eventually."

We remained silent for sometime until Chris said: "We have to tell the fans." Me and Matt nodded simultaneously.

"Yes. I'll tell Tom to arrange a press conference and write it on the forums or something..." he said quietly, his fingers smashing a cookie in the small plate on the table in front of him.

"'Kay..."

I busied my hands by scrolling up and down my already read messages on my phone. Matt did something similar while Chris just played with the ice cubes in his latte.

The mood was still really bad. I couldn't believe what was happening and neither could the guys sitting on each side, I'm sure. It's been almost eighteen years since we started this band, since we were known as Muse and now it was over.

Chris' phone buzzed in his pocket. He picked it and brought it to his ear.

"Hey, hon." he stopped and listened "Yeah, yeah, I'm right there – I'm fine, yeah – No, no, I – Alright, hold on. I'll be right there – Me too, bye." he said and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Sorry, guys. I have to go. Kelly needs me." he said as he stood up.

"Alright." I smiled the same time Matt nodded.

"See ya!"

"Bye."

I took a sip from my now unpleasantly warm coffee and watched Matt sliding and tapping his fingers on his touch screen.

"What are you doin'?" I jerked my chin towards his phone. He raised his eyes to look at me.

"Oh, I thought I'd save some time by booking a ticket. Leaving next week."

"Oh."

"And I informed Tom, as well. He's working on the conference now."

"Oh," I repeated "And what's his opinion? About the band splitting up."

"He asked why, although he already knew the answer" he simply said "He doesn't like it of course..."

"And about you leaving for God only knows how long? What's his opinion on that?" I said in the most cheeky tone I could manage.

"Excuse me?" he chuckled, surprised.

"You're not leaving for a month, Matt. You'll leave and you'll come back only when you miss local cuisine, and I bet you're not missing it soon."

"Jesus, Dom! I just wanna take a break, shall I?"

"For how long, Matt?" I asked firmly, sarcastically, arms crossed over my chest. He opened his mouth to talk me back but closed it immediately and leaned back in his chair again.

"I don't know." he said quietly, almost whispering.

"Want me to come with you?" I dared to say, the words flying out of my mouth as fast as I could. I held my breath until he answered and then let it out through my mouth in an angry huff.

"I-I...Dom, I don't..." he mumbled some words that only had a negative meaning. I frantically shook my head from side to side to cease him, anger growing.

"You little shit. You care about no one but your huge pathetic ego, do you?" I shouted as I stood up. He stood up too, slapping his hands on the table, the glasses clinging.

"What the fuck's wrong with y–"

"You're leaving because you can't fucking deal with this shit and you don't even care about what we want! What _I_  want!"

"Have it even crossed your mind that I might be trying to make this easier for everyone!?" he screamed.

"Oh, no, Matt. You fucking don't." I said, my voice calm, my fist hitting on top of the table, leaning above it. He huffed and stood straight.

"Yeah, you know what? You're right." he dramatically bend forward, taking a bow "I don't care about you. But I don't see how you do better. All you do is sit there drinking your fucking coffee with your face on the floor. Whiner!"

"At least I don't leave!"

"You can't fucking understand, Dom, can you!?"

"Understand what? What a coward you are? What a selfish dick you are!?" I spat out. He shook his head, an angry pout on his lips. He wrinkled his nose. He shoved his hand into his pocket and threw some cash on the table before he turned to leave.

"My treat."

"Cunt." I muttered, whispering, as I turned to leave to the opposite direction.

We didn't talk after that, until the press conference.

Then everything happened so fast that the emotional tension was unbearable.

After the press conference the news spread fast and soon after we exited the building, fans were coming in droves. People crying and screaming and begging around us.

"P-Please. Please don't break up! I need you together..." sobbed a girl as she wrapped her skinny arms around me. I had to grit my teeth not to start sobbing myself.

And then the forums and our fan pages flooded with messages of fans expressing just how hard this was for them, saying how heartless we were to do this to them. It was officially the end of a dream.

I let out air through my nose and threw my head back on the leather seat of the cab, closing my eyes.

"When are you leaving?" I asked as quietly as I could, poking Matt's arm with my elbow.

"Mmm?" he looked away of the window at me "Oh. I...Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning." he murmured unexpressively and turned his face back to the window, resting his chin on his fist.

"Mm...Do you want me to drive you to the airport?" I offered.

"No. I'll get a taxi." he said, not even pretending to want to look at me this time. "Thanks." he added, remembering his manners.  _Manners._  Since when did we need those?

"'Kay."

Despite he said no, I went to pick him up the following morning and he didn't protest. We remained silent until we arrived at the airport.

We met Chris at the entrance, who was leaving as well for isolated beaches in Australia. His big family waiting with him. We all put our happy faces on to talk with the kids. They didn't need to know, however Kelly knew. I could tell by her knowing, sympathetic looks at us.

Matt stopped walking and turned around to face me and Chris as Kelly and the kids waited some meters away, sharing colourful candies. He looked from Chris to me for a short moment.

"So..." he started, nervously ruffling his hair with his free hand.

"So..." repeated Chris.

"That's it."

I looked at my feet, arms tightly crossed over my chest. Why was I feeling so emotional all of a sudden?

The speakers announced that the flight for Tokyo was leaving soon and my friend had yet to check in. A part of me wanted to keep him here, make him miss his flight and change his mind because I knew that he was trying to escape from the emotional tension after announcing our break up, that we were all struggling to deal with. However, another part of me was too selfish to plead, tell him to stay. I just couldn't say it.

Chris went closer and wrapped him in a tight hug, Matt gasping and giggling. Chris pulled back and chuckled.

"Have fun, mate."

"Thanks, Chris. I'll try." he laughed, bitterly "You too!" Chris nodded his thanks. The skinny man looked over to me. "Won't you tell me 'goodbye'?" he teased. I made an effort to giggle, but it actually came out like I was choking. I walked the distance between us and stood some inches away from him.

"Have a good journey, Bellamy." I smiled. He stretched and threw his arms around my neck, wrapping me in a warm hug, honestly the thing I needed more at that time.

"Don't tell me you're still huffish about what I said the other day." he giggled softly in my ear, still not letting go. When I didn't respond he said: "Look," he pulled away from our hug but his hands grasped my arms holding me in place "You're right, I...I'm leaving because all this..." he moved his hands around in the air "This is too much for me and-"

I pulled him closer, my arms wrapping around his small body.

"I'm sorry, Matt; I didn't mean to say all those things to you. I was just angry and sad and feeling like shit and I understand how hard this is for you..." I shook my head. I didn't know how to start telling him all that I wanted to say.

"It's okay, Dom. We all feel really bad and all, but it'll get better. You'll see." he smiled and patted my back before he grabbed his suitcase. "See you soon, guys."

"How soon?" I asked. He laughed.

"Soon enough so you'll still remember me." he said over his shoulder and disappeared in the crowd.

I stood there staring. Chris patted my back.

"I think I have to go, too." I nodded. I threw my arms around his big shoulders. He leaned closer and gave me an equally tight hug as that Matt accepted. I giggled and pulled back to see him.

"Have fun, man. You deserve it." He sympathetically rubbed my arm.

"What are you gonna do?" I shrugged one shoulder and smiled.

"Don't worry about me, mate. I'll manage." He smiled widely and looked back at his family for a split second.

"Take care." he said quietly and pulled me in another hug. He turned around and left. He wrapped his arm around his wife's waist as she held baby Teddi in one arm holding Buster's hand with the other. Another four blondish kids ran behind them and they soon all disappeared in the crowdy airport. I stood there wondering if I'd ever be lucky enough to have a big happy family like his.

"Let's go home." I said to myself. What was left to do anyway?

I slowly walked through the parking. I kicked a can with the tip of my shoe as I approached my brand new car. It didn't seem so much fun now that I'd finally realized that I belonged to no band, that I had no friends around. It was like I'd lost my identity. Who was I now? Now that I wasn't Muse's drummer. I was just a guy called Dominic, wearing leopard print, who owns a silver Lamborghini.

The deafening noise of a plane passing above me distracted me. I raised my eyes to see it going up and up until it soon was lost behind the clouds. And that was when I realized Matt was gone and I wouldn't know if he's okay or not, if he's having fun or now. I wouldn't drop by to drink a beer and tease him.

"Here goes Matt." I laughed to myself, a sob breaking my voice half sentence.

I felt my eyes burning and stinging, tears threatening to stream down my face. I blindly opened the door as fast as I could and fell into my seat hiding my face into my hands. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke. I had to do so as to get rid of the tension. But now it wasn't only tension. It was sorrow. And realization.

A couple of weeks ago I could proudly say I was happy. I had everything I needed; band, friends, music, money. And a moment later everything collapses. I was finished with my band, I was losing my friends and all I was left with was money and a house. And a stupid car. Every important aspect of my life was falling apart and I couldn't see how I could do anything about it. What else could possibly go wrong now?

I started crying, not able to do much more at that moment. A sudden tic on the window, followed by many more, startled me. I looked up only to see it was raining. I had to go home. I took some deep breaths through my nose to calm down, and wiped the tears with the back of my hand under my eyes and cheeks. I turned the key and the engined roared.

I was driving for some time, having decided not to go home. I just needed some time and speed to get my mind off of all the things that made me feel however I did.

I hit the gas and the car rushed forward, forcing me to fly back on my seat. I maneuvered around other cars, the wheels creaking on the wet road.

I saw the traffic light in the distance turning red, however, I couldn't help but speed up. My limbs weren't under my control. The red light passed by in a blur and before I could realize what I was doing a sudden crashing noise startled. My head flew to the right when an invisible force hit me. Again I was unable to control my body flying around in my own car. A sharp pain shot around my whole body. It made me feel hazy. I painfully groaned but nobody heard. I looked through a broken glass with half lidded eyes. I saw a face covered in blood but before I could panic all I was seeing was black.

_Soothing black._


	2. II

She gracefully left a bowl of green tea as well as a plate with a couple of colourful nerikiri on the table in front of me. She winked at me and took a bow before she left as I nodded my thanks.

I shifted in my cushion to get closer to the small table, legs crossed indian style. I reached for a lilac and green nerikiri in the shape of a flower from the elaborately decorated plate. God, how I'd missed this taste. I took the matching bowl in one hand and and twisted it around in my palm three times, holding the rim of it. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I didn't know I still remembered the parts of the Japanese tea ceremony. I brought it closer to my face and took a big sip, enjoying the pleasant bitterness of the dark liquid. I took a deep breath in and looked out of the large window at the colourful trees.

I hadn't done this in ages and it was kind of refreshing to be here again. The last time I was sitting at this table near this window at this same restaurant I was with Chris and Dom and a bunch of other people. People who were, one way or another, part of Muse. But now there wasn't Muse. I was the same skinny guy who was sitting here years ago, only this time this was all I was; skinny. And alone. And all though the place hadn't changed at all it seemed to be painfully quiet now. Nothing like the place I've visited some years ago.

My phone felt heavy in my back pocket. I had turned it off a couple of weeks ago, the moment the plane took off, and hadn't turn it on since. I needed to clear my head and being isolated for some time seemed like the best idea. I would soon get used to it. Isolation. Just until things got a little better back home. At least that was the plan. I was running away from my problems. Dom was right.  _Dick._

I finished my tea as soon as I could nervously looking out of the window every some seconds. I discreetly raised my hand to signal Eri to come closer. She took some fast and small steps to my table, her tiny body swaying side to side as she tried to keep her balance on her high heels.

"How can I help you, Matthew?" she asked cheerfully, her accent heavy.

"Eri," I laughed quietly "Can I have my bill, please?" I tilted my head to the right. Her beautiful features brightened up as she smiled.

"Yes," she cheered slightly bouncing on her tiptoes before leaving for the bar "In a minute!" she said over her shoulder. I giggled.

Eri was maybe the only friend I had in the city; not that we were constantly hanging around but it was nice to have someone to talk with. I'd have gone insane if it wasn't for her. Plus she proved to be an excellent listener when I was waffling about all the shit that happened to me. She surprisingly didn't complain at all. All those years I've learned that even friends complain when they're bored even when what you're talking about is so important for you. Not few times had I regretted starting talking.

She skipped at my table and handed me the bill and took the money from my hand, smiling the whole time.

"Thanks, Eri." I started gathering my things and standing up. I threw my last nerikiri in my mouth.

"Hey, Matthew?" she called out as I turned to leave.

"Hm?"

"I finish in some minutes," she glimpsed at the clock on the wall behind the bar. "In 20 minutes, actually. Do you want to hang out for some time?"

"Mm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, alright. I'll be waiting outside" I gestured towards the door. I faltered for a moment, she tilted her head in confusion "No, actually, I'll be at-"

"The Cherry Blossom?" she smirked.

"Yes" I giggled.

"OK, I'll see you there." she waved and turned to go welcome the new costumers.

I walked all the way to the blooming cherries. They were beautiful. And the scent of them was amazing. I felt stupid I spent my last week in my air-conditioned hotel room. Not that the jacuzzi and sauna weren't worth it.

I spotted a bench in the distance. I should have ten more minutes until I met Eri. I walked there and sat, just watching people passing by for a while but then my phone poked my bum again. I stood up and started pacing up and down the path. My hand flew to the back of my jeans against my will to grab my phone. I faltered before I touched it and began to pull it out.

"Matthew?" a high pitched female voice called out. I looked up in shock, my hand falling back to my side. I sighed.

"Hey." She came closer and stopped right in front of me lightly bouncing.

"What do you want to do?" she chirped.

"Um, I, er, I don't know. Are you hungry?"

"Hmm," she pulled her small hand out of the pocket of her bright pink coat to rub her stomach "A bit."

"How about some dinner?" I suggested. It was getting dark after all. She excitedly nodded, tucking her silk long her behind her ear.

"Yes! I know a great restaurant down the street!" she grabbed my hand and pulled me with her as she started quickly skipping trough the cherries.

"Oi! Wait." I laughed and she stopped to smile back at me. "Let's just take a walk before dinner, hm?" I let my arm loosely hang around her shoulders and we started walking again. "How was your day today?"

"Just tiring," she pouted but her face lit up again within a second "But I got another job and I will soon be able to move in a better flat. The one I live in now is a mess, you know." she wrinkled her, her expression too cute for me to resist a laugh. She laughed along.

"Yeah, I know. You had done a pretty good job with it though."

"Yes but still I don't like it." she shrugged, smiling. "What about yours? Did you go to Shitennoji temple?"

"Yeah, um, I-I went last week..." I remembered my last visit to the temple just after my plane landed here last week. When I came here for escape. I ran my fingers through my hair, my arm falling from her shoulders. "'T was nice." I said almost whispering. My palms involuntary started rubbing my face.

"Matthew... Are you OK?" she rubbed my arm and gently pulled my hand off my face. The genuine concern in her voice scared me. I raised my eyes to look at her.

"Yeah. Yes. I'm fine" I nodded frantically, not breaking eye contact.

"Are you sure? You look-"

"I'm fine." I snapped. Was I going crazy? I shook my head and look away and when I talked again my voice sounded calmer, "I mean, I'm fine. I just, um, I have a headache." I looked at her and gave her the most convincing smile I could manage.

"Aw it's okay. We can stop by at my house and I will give you an aspirin." she rubbed my arm again, nodding reassuringly.

"No, no. Thanks. Let's just go for dinner. I'm starving." I smiled and she did too, nodding.

"Okay."

We ate at her favourite restaurant. And we were talking like we have known each other for months, not for just days. I met her the week I arrived in Osaka. She was walking to work and I,well, I was just wandering around. I didn't see where I was going, lost in my thoughts, and I bumped into her and practically knocked her down. Then, I don't know how but she didn't slap me or anything and we started talking and we were hanging out since. It was nice to have somebody to talk to when everyone you ever trusted were days away and would probably not want to meet me.

We walked at her house after I'd offered to go with her. I stopped in front of the entrance of her building. It was unusually quite tonight. She did that cute girly bouncy move to turn around and look at me when she stopped too.

"Thanks for coming with me. And for the dinner." she smiled and gestured towards the glassdoor. I huffed.

"It was nothing." I giggled, rubbing my slightly puffed up stomach. I hadn't eat that good since all my problems started. It was a nice full feeling.

"Okay" she giggled. I smiled.

Eri had really helped me all this time I've been here. She barely knew me but she was a good friend. And she was cute too. She had beautiful feminine features; big brown eyes, a small button nose and full lips. Her hair was beautiful too. Silk long dark hair almost reaching her bum. She was sexy and I needed some company to get over myself. What could I do?

Without giving it much thought I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. I pulled back just some inches to look at her face. She was shocked but was smiling, nevertheless. And again without bothering think about the consequences, I leaned in and kissed her. My hands slipped to her small waist and I pulled her closer, our torsos almost touching. She wrapped one arm around my neck while gently tugged on my hair with the other. She gently sighed, our tongues slipping together. How long had it been since I felt that...with someone I truly liked?

I snapped back into reality. I pulled back and I felt my face burning. I looked at her big brown smiling eyes. She took a step closer still smiling. She stroked my cheek and stood on her tips, bringing our faces on the same level.

"Do you want to come upstairs?" she whispered and leaned in for another kiss. Just as she pressed a kiss on my lips I grabbed her arms and gently pushed her away.

"No, no. Um..I-It's late." I winced at my lame excuse but I smiled. She smiled too after a moment of confusion.

"Alright." she capped my face and pressed another kiss on my lips before we started sharing deep long kissed again.  _What the hell are you doing!?_  I took a step backwards, keeping a safe distance between us. It was good, indeed but I couldn't let myself go now. I couldn't do that to her. She smiled and walked backwards towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." she sang and waved as she pushed it open and walked in.

"Bye."

My palms crushed on my face with a noise. What the fuck had I done?

"You shouldn't have kissed her." I said to myself "You're a dick." I took a deep breath in and let it out "Get over yourself!" I shouted but hoped it only sounded as a muffled scream.

I started walking fast, my hands frustratingly ruffling my already messy hair.

Shockingly enough, I was craving for a cigarette right now. I stopped. I realized my hotel was in the opposite direction. I turned around and started walking again.

"Arsehole."

My steps did not slow down until I reached my hotel room.

I opened with my card and rushed in. I passed by the light switch but I didn't turn it on. I shrugged my jacket off and threw it on the floor as I paced towards the bathroom. I took all my clothes off throwing them on the floor. I walked over to the hot tub and pressed some buttons before I left the bathroom to grab a wine bottle from the bar. I padded back in and jumped in the tub. I leaned my head back against the cool tiles and took a big sip of my red wine. I started relaxing as the red liquid slipped down my throat and the small bubbles tickled my whole body. Everything seemed perfect yet something didn't feel right. It felt like something I had forgotten screamed for attention inside my head...or better, something I had ignored.

I opened one eye and glimpsed at my black jeans on the tile floor by the sink. I left my bottle on the rim of the tub. I jumped out and slightly shivered as a wall of cool air hit my bare skin. I bended over to pick them up and started searching in the pockets. First, second, third pocket and it was there; my phone.

I threw the black pants back on the wet floor and padded to the bedroom, not bothering to cover up with a towel, pressing light switched here and there on my way. I sat on the edge of the double bed, dumping the crisp white sheets but I couldn't care less. My thumb faltered on the button. I bit my thumb nail and looked around in the room. I stood up and walked to the closet, mentally planning my outfit for tomorrow. My hand played a bit with the clothes hanging in there and a moment later I was dragging my feet back to the bedroom. I plopped down on the bed, lying flat on my back. I raised my hand that was still holding the phone for dear life above my head to look at it. I was ready to press the start up button but I hesitated again.

Should I open it?

I shifted to lie on my stomach and held my breath for some seconds, just balancing my options. But suddenly the sheets felt too itchy and hot.

I stood up and pointlessly paced around the room for a while. I leaned my back against the wall and slowly slid down to sit there but shot up immediately when my bum made contact with the floor, received a cold shock. I huffed annoyed. I grabbed a pair of black boxers from my suitcase and slipped them on. I absentmindedly walked around my luxurious room, temporally forgetting about my waiting phone.

I walked to the fridge and took a bottle of icy cold water. I hungrily sipped it, feeling extremely thirsty all of a sudden. I squinted over at the black iPhone resting on the night table in the bedroom. I quickly padded there with the bottle still on my mouth and grabbed the bottle running back to the bar to replace the water bottle with a wine one. Then I remembered the one still waiting by the tub and practically ran there.

I took the boxers off throwing them behind my back on the wet tile floor as I jumped in the hot bubbling water. I took some sips of my wine to satisfy my thirst however my throat still felt dry. I glared at my phone.

"You..." I said aloud. That was basically the reason I couldn't get to enjoy my time in Japan and apparently, wouldn't let me do so unless I opened it to found out what was going on back home.

I didn't give it a second thought before I pressed the button and watched as the start up screen appeared. I took a sip and looked back at the screen.

_17 unread messages._

_32 missed calls._

_1 voice mail._

The numbers scared me quite honestly but I shrugged it off figuring it would be my lawyer. Or my mum. Or Chris. Or Dom.

I went in my contacts and skipped to 'P'. I found 'Poof' and pressed call to dial Dom. I felt weird, like a psycho girlfriend or something, but I suddenly had the urge to his voice. I couldn't admit it out loud not even to myself but I'd missed him quite much.

I remained completely still hearing the tones, waiting for Dom's stupidly cheerful 'hello' but instead a recorded female voice answered;  _number dialed does not exist_. I looked at the screen in disbelief.

"What the fuck has he done?"

I dialed again but the result was pretty much the same.  _Number dialed does not exist._

I frowned. Maybe he'd send me a message to tell me he changed number. I tapped the touch screen a few times to read the messages.

Most were from Eri, sent before I informed her about my temporary communication aversion last week. Some others were indeed from my lawyer, as I had predicted. I went to read the remaining messages. They were all from Chris and Tom, all written in the same urgent tone some just repeated over and over.

_**Answer your motherfucking phone.** _

_**Where the fuck are you Bellamy?** _

_**We need to talk you prick! Answer your goddamn phone!** _

My face fell.

"W-What the hell...?" I whispered. I dryly swallowed, an annoying knot now forming in my stomach.

I checked the missed calls. Eri. Lawyer. Tom. Chris. Mum. Dom's mum.  _Dom's mum?_ Maybe Dom had lost his phone or something and then had to call me from his mother's. Yeah. That was the case, apparently _._

I went to check for my voice mail. Those motherfuckers better had a good reason for those messages. And all the calls. In my surprise the voice mail was not from them; it was from my mum. I frowned. When did she learn to send voice mails? I tapped the screen once to open it and hesitatingly brought it to my ear.

"Matt?" called my mum "Matt, baby, where are you? Please, Matthew, if you hear this, please, call me. Chris and Tom are trying to contact you..." she paused for a long moment.

I could hear her breath and something else. What sounded like a familiar woman crying shocked me so much I wasn't able to curse that Dom wasn't even trying to find me.

"Please, honey..." my mum continued "Please, this is serious. If-If you don't wanna talk I understand it, Matthew. Just, just send a message or something, baby. I'm...I hope you're alright because..." another pause and this time her sobs joined the woman's.

I gulped, my throat painfully dry. An unpleasant shiver ran down my whole body and the water suddenly felt icy cold. I wanted to vomit. My eyes stung as tears threatened to escape them any minute now. I blinked to make them disappear as she talked again. "I...baby...D-Dom...The day you left, Matthew...The day you left..." I braced myself for what was coming, my hand clutching the rim of the tub.

"Dom had an accident."


End file.
